How Mental Restriction Interferes with Practicing Intuitive Eating
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Whether you are new to intuitive eating or have been practicing it for some time, the notion of giving yourself permission to eat foods that are generally thought of as “unhealthy” is likely something you’ve heard before. This concept is part of the third principle of intuitive eating, Make Peace with Food, and allows for freedom to explore and choose foods based on whether you actually like them, versus whether or not diet culture has deemed them to be “good.”
I won’t be diving into the nitty-gritty of all the principles of intuitive eating, or even all the nuance of this particular principle, in this blog post, however, I do want to start by highlighting several reasons why practicing unconditional permission to eat is so important for healing our relationship to food.
The healing power of Making Peace with Food
The fear associated with allowing ourselves to eat what we consider to be forbidden foods often leads to behaviors and eating experiences that are totally counter to the experiences we want to be having.
Here are several reasons why we might have this experience and scenarios for which unconditional permission to eat helps:
Deprivation increases appeal. When we tell ourselves we cannot have something, that actually heightens our desire for that thing. Recall being a teenager and a parent telling you you weren’t allowed to do something. What happened? Likely you wanted to do that thing even more. The response is similar when we tell ourselves we can’t or shouldn’t eat something because we have to follow the rules of the diet.
Rebound eating in response to scarcity is common. Rebound eating is when we eat beyond our body’s needs or what feels good in response to a period of deprivation (or even the anticipation of future deprivation). For example, when we reach our breaking point with a diet and “give in” and eat all of the things that were told ourselves were off limits. We sometimes call this the “what the hell” effect, wherein we believe, “I’ve already blown it, so I might as well go all in.” Or, when we are planning to start our next diet plan and eat all of the things we soon won’t allow ourselves to have. This is referred to as the last supper effect. This can lead to feeling out of control with food, reinforcing the belief that we need to rely on diets further to regain control of eating.
Restrained eating is a set-up for overeating. “Restrained eaters,” those who chronically limit their intake of foods–both in total quantity and food type–as part of a diet or in the effort to control their weight, may actually be setting themselves up for episodes of overeating, versus those who don’t restrain themselves to begin with.
Alternatively…
Unconditional permission helps us notice and stop at satisfaction. Giving yourself unconditional permission to eat foods you enjoy, in amounts that are satisfying, with no plans or commitments to compensate for eating said food, decreases the likelihood of overeating that food because it is no longer perceived as scarce.
Consistently including high-value food reduces the urgency around eating these foods. The more an individual exposes themselves to a certain food, the less charge this food holds over time. It doesn’t mean you stop liking it, but you will likely get to a place where you don’t feel like you need to eat it just because it’s there. This is similar to what is observed in research on food habituation. When we repeatedly have the same food, the appeal of this food diminishes over time.
When you’ve stopped dieting but your brain hasn’t
Now there is a lot, and I mean A LOT, more to say on this intuitive eating principle, but for the purpose of this post, I want to focus on a common experience I’ve encountered when working with individuals on this part of their journey to becoming a more flexible eater. It goes like this:
An individual takes the courageous step of starting to incorporate foods they previously avoided because diet rules and diet culture led them to believe those foods couldn’t fit into a nutritious diet. While they believe they’re giving themselves the permission to have these foods because they are intentionally eating them, their internal dialogue (how they talk to themselves before, during, or after having these foods) sounds something like this:
“If I go for a run tomorrow morning, it’s fine to eat this now.”
“That tasted really good but it’s really only OK to have that once in a while.”
“It was fine to have eaten that as long as I eat healthy foods for the rest of the day.”
“Since I’ve had [forbidden food] tonight, I definitely can’t have it again tomorrow.”
“Eating this food is going to make me gain weight.”
Although they are eating a wider variety of foods, how they talk to themselves during these eating experiences reflects a diet mentality. This is what I call mental restriction, or pseudo-permission as it is referred to in the Intuitive Eating book. Why? For one, there are conditions that still must be met in order for it to be “OK” to have that food, including exercising or eating a certain way for the remainder of the day. Two, how often they allow themselves to have the food is being limited (“... it’s really only OK to have that once in a while..” and “I definitely can’t have it again tomorrow.”) And finally, believing that eating a particular food inherently causes weight gain and that weight gain is inherently bad (because: fatphobia) can lead to feelings of guilt or regret for enjoying that food. While these are only thoughts, this mentality can lead to eating in a way that feels out of control, and can erode trust in the transformative power unconditional permission to eat all foods can have.
Giving yourself (true) unconditional permission to eat
So, if this sounds familiar, what can you do about it?
For starters, just identifying that these thoughts are happening is an important first step. It may be helpful to write down what you’re thinking and feeling at the beginning, middle, and end of an eating experience in a journal or notebook if you suspect mental restriction or pseudo-permission may be getting in the way of eating more intuitively. Then, you can begin to identify the beliefs underlying these thoughts and start to challenge them with evidenced-based facts. For example, there is no one food that causes weight gain. It’s not that simple. Eating patterns over time, in addition to many other factors, can influence weight changes. The diet industry profits off of the message that weight is completely within one’s control, and that weight equals health, but it’s just not the case. And, it’s also true that if you need to maintain a highly restrictive diet to maintain a “healthy” or “ideal” weight, then that weight is probably not healthy or ideal for you or your body.
Also, try to practice non-judgmental awareness when you’re eating, in order to see whether you actually enjoy that food and feel satisfied when you eat it. As mentioned before, telling ourselves we can’t have something can actually make us want it more, simply because we can’t have it. When a food no longer holds as much power because you know you’ll allow yourself to have it again and again, this can create room for genuine exploration of the experience of eating that food. You may find you really love it, and can be more present when enjoying it instead of feeling guilty for having it. This can make the experience of eating it even more satisfying. Or, you may find that it was mostly the allure of eating a “forbidden” food that made it appealing, and while you may like the food, it doesn’t hold your interest in the way that it used to.
Intentionally eating these foods and checking in with appetite cues (am I still hungry? Am I beginning to feel full? Is this still as satisfying as it was a few bites ago?) also creates opportunities to build new experiences with eating forbidden foods, and to build trust with yourself that you are the one that knows best when it comes to your body. The process of reincorporating foods you have long avoided because of diet rules, or because you feel out of control when eating that food, can understandably feel overwhelming and scary. I recommend working with a registered dietitian through this process to come up with a plan for trying these foods and to receive support along the way.
Interested in finding food freedom and body trust for yourself?
For a deeper understanding of the nuances of intuitive eating that are crucial for its practice, I recommend checking out these ThrivInspired Nutrition resources:
Nourished with Confidence: A 60-minute Masterclass to understand how diets erode body trust, why letting go of food rules is not incompatible with eating for health, and how taking charge of your own food decisions can improve your wellbeing.
Inspire: A 60-minute Masterclass to understand why diets don’t work (& why it’s not your fault), why weight doesn’t equal health, and what you stand to gain by giving up the food fight.
Empower: A 4-week series that teaches you key concepts for reconnecting with your inner wisdom to reclaim intuitive eating and find food peace.
OR…
Contact Us to schedule a FREE discovery call and see if working together is a good fit for you! We see clients in Vermont, Florida, and several other states.
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