Food Rules: What They Are and What To Do About Them

If you clicked on this blog post because you aren’t sure what a food rule is and if you have any, I’m glad you’re here.

If you clicked on this post because you know that you have food rules but aren’t sure what to do about them or are feeling unsure about whether you want to do anything about them, I’m glad you’re here, too.

And if you fall somewhere else in between, this post is for you, too. Why? Chances are that at some point in your life, you’ve come across a food rule and may have wondered if it was worth trying. This includes the more obvious food rules that are part of following a diet, and less obvious diet culture influences disguised as “healthy eating habits” circulated by a wide variety of audiences, including but certainly not limited to friends and family, colleagues, on social media, and elsewhere.

So, what is a food rule?

I describe food rules as self-imposed guidelines related to eating certain foods or to eating in general. Usually, these guidelines are related to the timing, frequency, amount, setting, or some other condition in which one does or doesn’t allow themselves to eat. An important note here -- I am not referring to guidelines with food that are recommended because of a diagnosed medical condition or allergy.

 Some examples of the types of food rules I’m referring to and have heard from individuals I’ve worked with include:

 “I try not to eat after [insert time] o’clock.”

“I can only eat those foods when I am on vacation.”

“I can’t have [insert “bad” food] more than once in one week.”

“I don’t eat any processed foods.”

“I don’t eat [insert food or nutrient] because it’s bad for your health.”

“Since I already ate [insert food] I can’t also eat [insert food].”

“On days when I work out, I can have [insert forbidden food].”

Do any of those sound familiar?

Another telltale sign of a food rule is that it causes feelings of shame, guilt, or like you’ve failed because you didn’t follow it. Like you did something bad. But the truth is, eating dessert regardless of whether or not you worked out, does not make you a bad person. Would you consider someone else to be a bad person if they did the same? Probably not. If you’ve felt bad for eating something before, you’re not alone. We live in a society where food behaviors (and weight) are associated with moral attributes.

Diet culture wants you to feel like you aren’t doing food right. The pursuit of the thin ideal has contributed to a multi-billion dollar diet industry. As a result, food rules are often normalized and even encouraged in the pursuit of “health”.

How food rules disconnect us from our bodies

What’s ironic is that these and other rules that we impose on ourselves when it comes to eating often lead us further from a health-supportive relationship with food. What may start off as a well-intentioned effort to be mindful of food-related behaviors can evolve into a rigid set of rules that leads to disconnection from your body and its needs. This can make knowing what, when, and how much to eat in order to adequately nourish our bodies and feel good, confusing at best. This confusion erodes trust in your body and its signals and may perpetuate further reliance on external rules to guide your eating, continuing the cycle. If you want to learn more about some of the physical and psychological impacts of food rules and diets, check out this post on Finding Food Freedom.

The thing is when you start to rely on external rules for eating, which is a very individualized experience, you are relying less on what your body is telling you and instead deferring to guidelines that don’t take into consideration your unique needs that week, that day, or even that moment. I’m here to tell you that this black-and-white thinking about food (and how we eat) often in the pursuit of weight loss and other goals can actually be way more detrimental for our health than just allowing yourself to eat flexibly, without rules or conditions. This is something I see frequently when working with those who have eating disorders, but you do not have to have a diagnosed eating disorder for food rules to negatively impact your well-being.

What to do about your food rules

Uncovering, understanding, and letting go of food rules will likely not be a quick or comfortable process, especially if they’ve been around for a long time, but that doesn’t mean it’s too late to start trying.

The following steps may help you on your journey to breaking free from rigid food rules:

Identify the rules

• Make a list of the food rules you currently have, both big and small. It may be helpful to reflect on what factors you take into consideration when making a decision about what to eat, in order to uncover these rules. Are there certain foods that feel off-limits, others that feel more comfortable, and if so, why?

• If you are still unsure about whether or not you follow any food rules, check in with yourself the next time you are choosing a snack, preparing a meal, or ordering at a restaurant. Ask yourself, is this truly what I think will be the most satisfying or what I think I should have because of X,Y, and Z?

• Bring awareness to the beliefs underlying the rules

• Food rules are often based on beliefs we have and are not necessarily informed by sound science. Take time to consider what beliefs may be informing some of your food rules. Reflect on the following: Where does the belief come from? What influences have shaped that belief? What do I believe will happen if I follow the food rule?

• Try to withhold any judgement towards yourself in this process.

 Reflect on how the rule impacts you and try making it less black-and-white

• Consider how following this food rule is currently keeping you from having the type of relationship with food that you want to have. Maybe this looks like eating without guilt, or choosing a meal out at a restaurant that actually sounds good to you, versus what seems to be the “healthiest” on the menu.

• Food rules are often black-and-white, it’s either all good or all bad, but in reality, it’s not that simple when it comes to food. Plus, food isn’t just about nutrients and energy. It’s also about satisfaction, pleasure, socialization, to name a few things. Keeping this in mind, try to re-frame a food rule you have to make it more neutral. Here’s an example:

  Belief: All dessert foods are bad for my health

  Re-frame: I enjoy the taste of sweet foods and my body uses glucose as its main source of fuel, especially my brain. Also, my family likes to go out for ice cream, and I don’t want to miss out on enjoying that time with them.

 Come up with a plan for challenging your rules

• You do not need to challenge all your food rules at once! You may want to start with what feels easiest to challenge, and over time, work up to more difficult ones. Be kind with yourself throughout this process, it’s not easy work to challenge beliefs and rules that have been around for a long time, especially if they have felt helpful in the past (but are no longer serving you now).

Interested in finding food freedom and body trust for yourself? Contact us to schedule a FREE discovery call and see if working together is a good fit for you! We see clients in Vermont, Florida, and several other states. And, be sure to join our email list for more tips and support on your diet-free journey.